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Thursday, November 05, 2015

Trump and Trumper

Not that his moron fan club will notice or hold him to it, but this pitiful attempt by His Douchiness to pick a fight with John Oliver is bound to backfire. First, and most obviously, Oliver does not have guests on his show, certainly not in the conventional sense that Captain Fucktard is used to. I'm pretty sure I've seen every episode of Last Week Tonight so far, and the only interview guest I recall is a gay-rights activist from Uganda last year. Second is in the context of the interview Trump says that he finds Oliver's show boring, then follows up with the assertion that he's never seen the show.

Again, these are small but telling features that will do him no damage with his base, because they are truly stupid people, who cannot distinguish between beliefs and facts. They cannot think critically, or they would listen closely to any of Trump's interminable stemwinders, and realize that not only can the man not extemporize nearly as well as he thinks he can, but that there is no substance at all to what he says.

But here's perhaps the most telling thing, the feature that might actually get picked up by the dipshit press that's enabled this toxic asshole from the word go -- Trump's reasoning behind picking at this week's scab is that he doesn't like to let things go. This is the proverbial character flaw that is a feature to his believers, but it's a flaw all the same, and a nasty one.

Look, there are certainly things in life that you don't just "let go" of, and move on with your life like nothing happened. In the personal realm, losing a loved one or a home in a disaster, catching your spouse cheating on you, that sort of thing. In terms of world events, terrorist strikes fall into that category; nobody is letting go of, say, 9/11 anytime soon. (Although there should be a way to move forward from such things, and not get caught in an endless feedback loop of meaningless commemorations. I mean, next year will be the 75th anniversary of Pearl Harbor, think there'll be some media monkey-spanking over that?)

In this instance, however, we're talking about Trump being unable to "let go" of John Oliver supposedly lying about trying to book Trump on his HBO show. This is the guy you want with his hand on the nuke button, a guy who spends every waking hour guarding his vaunted brand like a Faberge egg, a guy for whom no grudge is too small to hold in a raging death grip?

I've said it a million times, but bears repeating -- there's something weird, something off, about a nearly 70-year-old man who can walk away from it all a thousand times over, but prefers to spend his time pinballing between media tools responding to slights. I'm telling you right now, at that age and with even one-hundredth of that net worth, I'd be a fucking ghost, on the yacht anchored off Majorca with carrying capacity of hot Russian chicks, surf-and-turf and Ketel One. Most good politicians have a narcissistic streak, but there's no streak here -- if there was a meter that measured that personality trait, Trump would have it pegged at all times.

Credit where it's due -- Trump has done a good job in trash-talking and schoolyard-bullying prepster rival John Ellis "Please for the love of gawd, call me Jeb" Bush, who has been reduced to begging his meddling nonagenarian parents for help. Sidelining that useless dynasty troll is the one decent thing Trump has done since June. Quitting his bullshit campaign and going back to pushing around Penn Jillette and Gary Busey would be the second.

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